United We Stand.

Well, here I am. A place I never in a million years thought I would be: writing about politics.

Here I was thinking I’ll make a blog talking about lessons learned from my past relationships, finding your inner beauty, and trivial life struggles that fail greatly in comparison to the obstacles other people face. I wanted to talk about the struggles that I thought women (or men) like myself would be able to relate to; the ones that I figured, well hey, if I feel this way then I’m sure someone else out there is dying to say the same thing.

Then it dawned on me. “So THAT’s why I’m here.”

Maybe you were thinking, here’s a girl who doesn’t like stepping on anyone’s toes. A girl who doesn’t like controversy, or politics, or creating friction, or being spiteful. A girl who has written numerous times about letting things go, or finding happiness, and just wants a platform to express herself and talk about her life, but not say anything offensive to others.

Well, I’m not sure how many of the subjects of my articles actually read them, but I can confidently tell you that there are probably a few guys unhappy with the things I’ve written about them. And while I have thought about the possibility of not offending them, I’ve always decided I’d rather speak my mind. And if you think I’m not petty or spiteful, kindly scroll all the way down and check out some of my social media accounts.

If you thought this blog was all about peace and love and being kind to others, then check out the above About tab.

In my About B, I say this blog is to remain positive. I say that in regards to judging other people who are being vulnerable, or in regards to hateful acts or comments. I ask that you do not judge people who are only trying to share an opinion that may be different from yours.

That is still a credo I try my best to live by. Nevertheless, we all have our opinions.

And, who am I to judge? I’ve written tons of things where I shared a possible unpopular opinion. As much as I preach being judgment free, I find myself struggling with this credo, because I internally judge things I see on the internet, or in person everyday, and I do not want to be a hypocrite.

I battle with myself often, asking if even a THOUGHT in my head could be received as judgmental, or if I am simply expressing what I believe to be wrong in certain situations. Also, I have been the girl who doesn’t like controversy or stepping on people’s toes, and many times in my life, I would run from it.

But, I also say in my About B that this blog is motivated by COMPASSION. That we move in the direction of things that help us benefit and inspire others. I then go on to say, “I hope this blog will serve as an inspiration to people LIKE ME.” Not to toot my own horn and be selfish, but *toot toot,* where my compassionate people at?

So there it is in black and white, people. And with that I say, take my pettiness, my controversy, and my judgments because:

i-dont-care

So back to politics. I’m going to try not to talk about Trump too much, but it’s inevitable. Here we are with a man as our President who has proven that he lacks compassion and has qualities of a tyrant. A man who leads with fear and greed, and who represents himself as well as everything that I have a problem with in the world.

But I’m not mad at him for having tiny hands and a big mouth, or being a sissy coward on one of the most insane power trips I’ve ever seen. I’m mad at the people supporting him.

And hey, I know all you Republicans aren’t the same. I know you guys aren’t evil, and I shouldn’t attack EVERYONE because of one person. I honestly believe that some people who voted for Trump are out there saying, “I just like his fiscal policies, I swear! OF COURSE I don’t believe in all his social views, but let’s give him a chance! EQUALITY FOR ALL! I’m nice to all the minorities!”

Well, you’re a coward on a power trip too. You’re afraid of any change, so you want to “make America great again” by putting the whole country back in a time of white supremacy. And okay, okay, you’re not all white. But you are privileged. And I’m assuming equality for all basically means more for you, right?

And at this point you’re probably already defending yourself. That’s great! Get angry! Maybe in light of recent activities, you finally have a guilty conscious. But don’t worry, I’m not only yelling at you… yet.

Firstly, I want to point out that I did NOT get angry when Trump first won the election. I was not bragging about the fact I voted for Hilary, because I wasn’t too keen on her being our first female president. I don’t think she represents womanhood. I didn’t listen to much of the debate, regretfully. I wasn’t into politics, admittedly. I don’t really trust the media nor do I really watch the news, unfortunately.

But I voted. I voted for the people in my life who I care the most about, not just for myself. And when I didn’t get my way, I hoped for the best. In fact, up until the past week, I was saying,”Okay Trump, now’s your chance. Let’s see what you got.”

Well, ABORT MISSION. I DON’T WANT TO SEE ANYMORE.

So you see, my folks with a guilty conscious? I am not only judging the people who are supporting him, I am also judging myself. I am judging myself for not getting angry or upset, and I may be just as bad as the people who supported him. And I apologize to those people who I tried to represent by voting, that I wasn’t angry enough before.

So, I have a new mission, and that is that I WILL be yelling at you from this point on. And if you want to call me a cry baby, go ahead. But try not to cry too much about the hurtful things I’ll say about you.

And NO, not you Donald Trump. I don’t even want to yell at you. I’ll leave that up to my more educated friends like The Young Turks, and hmmm I don’t know, anyone with a Journalism degree. Now I’ll finally watch the news so I can support decisions backed up by any sort of evidence, which will clearly and more eloquently point out his stupidity.

But I will be yelling at the people who are quick to cower behind him and protect themselves from scrutiny.

Hey, it’s human nature. So, I get it. I used to cower all the time and get defensive when people yelled at me. I still do. But cowering when your boyfriend does something disrespectful in an act to be agreeable, while extremely counterproductive, is NOT the same thing as cowering when someone disrespects an ENTIRE RACE OR GENDER.

I had dinner with a friend a few months back; One of the strongest ladies I know. Actually, I’m surrounded by them (shout out to my closest friends and my mama!). But this one friend told me that she saw something on her significant other’s phone, in a group chat with all his friends, where one guy made a racist comment about African Americans, and nobody said anything. They all just changed the subject.

Well, this friend of mine, she’s African American.

She was obviously hurt to be telling me this, and had a discussion with her significant other afterwards saying, “That is your future children and family that your closest friends were talking about.”

Her point being that even as a bystander, he was contributing to a larger problem. A problem that doesn’t affect him now, but WILL affect him eventually.

This really spoke to me. I could probably think of a million times when someone made an offensive joke around me and I didn’t say anything. Now in a twisted way, I can see how that affects me, because so many people in the world take offensive comments lightly, and that will affect MY children, too.

Flash forward to a few weeks ago. Someone I know (we’ll call him Bob), commented on a Facebook post that my friend posted (we’ll call her Jen).

Jen posted this meme:
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Damn, even some of the worst Presidents in history managed to squeak out a few inspirational quotes and that’s what we’re making memes of? But okay, let’s for the sake of the upcoming argument say that’s just “locker room talk.” And let’s also say that things like that have been said by many other people, but probably never captured on tape.

At least, that’s how Bob would justify it. Because Bob replied to the meme by saying, “I want to know that you and your girlfriends never made disparaging comments about guys or boyfriends or ex boyfriends ever behind closed doors. If you can honestly say that you NEVER made any comments then good for you…but if you can’t, you sound like a hypocrite. I don’t think that what he said was appropriate at all…but everyone is getting carried away.”

Well, I agree with some of that, Bob. You should act the same way you want others to act. All Bob is saying (and I’m power phrasing) is, “If you have contributed to this in any way, then your point is invalid.”  You go, Bob! 

Bob then went on to say, “Hey people change! Trump can’t be held accountable for what he said years ago! We all do it!” Look at you spitting out some knowledge Bob, FOUR FOR YOU BOB CO-CO!

Bob and Jen then argued over the fact of whether or not people should really care about what anybody says. Bob says women should be STRONG, and not get hurt over these sorts of comments, saying that Trump isn’t to blame because he isn’t taking away anyone’s rights by making that comment. While admittedly inappropriate, he’s just making a controversial statement, and it’s up to US not get offended and cry over it.

Hmmm. So we’re to blame for what one of the most powerful people in the world right now said, even though maybe 3 or 4 people heard our “disparaging comments” and not a couple million?

You had me on the whole, let’s not be hypocrites thing Bob, but you just lost me.

Bob also says that women can be taught not to take offense to these sort of comments, and if anyone talked to his daughter that way, they would get their ass kicked.

Well tell that to my black friend, Bob. You want her to kick her boyfriend’s ass? You think that makes her strong instead of it taking EVERYTHING in her power to not get angry at the person she loves, and treat him with compassion even though he hurt her?

Tell that to her kids too, Bob. Her kids who might be around people who are making racist comments right in front of her for the rest of her life, because those kids’ parents are her boyfriend’s racist friends. You want her kid to kick their asses too?

Actually Bob, tell that to your OWN daughter that will grow up in this world, and have to hear shit like that everyday. Tell her that people need to “stop getting carried away,” and that she should be STRONG, even though she might want to cry.

Well, I don’t give a FUCK how strong you are or what form of karate you know. I guess you’re wasting your money on those lessons, Bob, because by the time she grows up, she probably won’t even be fighting back. She’ll just think that that stuff is okay because everybody says it.

Everybody says it, just like Jen may have done in the past about her exes. Just like the people in my friend’s boyfriend’s group chat.

Or maybe your daughter will be strong and she’ll fight back. But she’ll get punished for it, just like politicians are publicly shaming the women who marched.  Just like Trump is banning people from tweeting.

She’ll be told that it’s wrong to fight. She will punish herself for being angry, the same way that you are punishing Jen for being angry.

I say this not to offend anybody, or try to tell people how to parent. There’s obviously a million different types of people in this world, and countless different views, which everyone is entitled to. There were obviously people who weren’t taught if they do not have anything nice to say, not to say anything at all. And even if everyone WAS taught that, we will never all agree on what is nice, and what isn’t nice.

There will always be someone saying, I think that is OKAY, because I do it all the time, and it has never affected me.

Well, yeah, it WOULDN’T affect you. Because you’re NOT a woman. Because you’re NOT black. Because you’re NOT Native American. Because you’re NOT a kid growing up in the world. Because you won’t be around when the environment turns to shit.

I’m done not trying to sound mean or angry. I’m ready to start being a role model for those people who won’t have a strong role model in their lives. I’m ready to start telling my friends’ stories, and publicly shaming the people who post negative comments on random ass Facebook articles. If they can publicly shame woman who marched, I can shame them.

Let’s start with these girls, Tully and Andi, who posted on this article:

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Interesting. If we’re not helping people when we’re not directly affected, then why are we getting offended and commenting on posts that don’t directly affect us in any way shape or form?

Well, I’m not standing with those disgusting people. I’m not standing with injustice. I’m not standing with hate. You can say I’m a bitch. You can say I’m a cry baby. You can say that I’m just mad because Trump is the President. Well, that’s NOT WHY I’M MAD.

This isn’t about politics or Trump. I was mad at people like that WAY before Trump was President, and I have dealt with plenty of people like him in my lifetime. I just, unfortunately, never said anything.

Well now, I’m saying it. United we do NOT stand. I don’t know how we will ever all agree, but I can tell you I’m done being agreeable with the people who tolerate hate.

If we don’t stand for something, we’ll fall for anything, and I think that there’s people in this world who have been oppressed long enough. Maybe I’m not directly affected by everything that’s going on, but…

i-dont-care

Xoxo,
B.


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