Can I Be Fearless Now?

Can I be fearless now?
Seriously
Can I stop giving a fuck?
Can I start telling people that enough is enough?
That I’m not dealing with their depressing stories like I care about their life
Or letting some guy who never cared about me’s words cut me like a knife?
Or let someone touch me when I never gave them that right?
Can I start telling guys to touch me
in a way I fucking like?
A way that makes me scream at the top of my lungs
Like I wanted to at my best friend when I was way too fucking young
When I wanted to tell her I was just so fucking done
Pretending I was somehow capable to stay quiet
When inside my body was a rebel
Ready to start a riot
I never was that fearless then
But I want to have a chance
I want to stop playing this role
Doing this stupid song and dance
As if someone else’s feelings
Are worth masking my own
Always taking a back seat
Instead of taking a tone
Can I be fearless now?
Please?
I’m asking you because
I know your answer is I can
That I don’t need you to tell me
That I already fucking am
But I still need your permission to shout “Fuck off”
And then somehow stay strong
And tell people how much they suck
When I know that they are wrong
See if you tell me it’s okay
I won’t feel as responsible
For messing them up
I won’t feel like maybe I shouldn’t
Have been so fucking tough
Because my biggest fear is
Afterwards I would somehow
Need to own It
To stick with it not say sorry
And not needing to resow It
I‘d have to stand behind what I said
Knowing how badly it could’ve hurt
Knowing full well how much damage
People can cause with their words
See I may be kind of fearless
But I just cannot be ruthless
Because I was once that person
Too afraid to know what truth is


3 thoughts on “Can I Be Fearless Now?

  1. How does one start, do we just pretend to be and that is enough to awaken our fearlessness, or do we need to go through a whole developmental process? Or is it really when we get to that point of being completely fed up. Fed up with ourselves, our habits, the things around us. When we just decide, ‘you know what i’ ve had enough of tolerating this’.

    Like

    1. I mean I’m not the most fearless person because I think to be completely fearless you need to stop caring what everyone thinks of you, and I definitely care a little too much sometimes. But maybe there’s not a certain way to become fearless. You can probably fake It til you make It but that wouldn’t be genuine. I think you need to feel It deep inside that you don’t need to be afraid of being judged or afraid of hurting people… especially if it’s hurting your own self. It’s definitely a process and people probably realize how to be fearless in different ways

      Liked by 1 person

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